i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
