Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
