doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
