its not stalking. its research.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
