Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
