No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
