the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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