Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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