OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
