Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
