im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
