He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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