That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
