I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Small penises have feelings too.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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