Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Randomize
