i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well I just put wine in my tea
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
