I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
