I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
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