Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
