so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
