What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
