I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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