WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
