nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
