Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
