I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
