good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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