I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
