Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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