Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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