Your tits are I can't wait for
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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