Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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