Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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