party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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