I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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