Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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