i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
