You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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