it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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