It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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