I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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