I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
