I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
