I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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