Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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