Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
