: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
