I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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