Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's shark week go big or go home
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
