Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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