I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
